Anti-Thought Brakes

Just as I was trying to take a nap yesterday, I heard two loud metallic CRUMPs. I had been up half the night feeding my son, and then up early for the breakfast round, so I wasn't bright and alert. I thought the noise was some workers next door. They have one of those giant dumpsters that clangs when you throw something big in it, but not that loud. All I could think was, "Why the hell are they out working in a snowstorm early on a Saturday morning?"

Then the doorbell rang and it was a man that had been in an accident in my front yard. He was testing the crumple point of the guard rail around our curve. He said that the antilock brakes locked up the steering. The redesign brakes because people had the tendency to stomp on them in an emergency and go into a skid.
Anti-lock technology is supposed to pulse the brakes to get you to a stop in the shortest possible time without going into a skid. Part of not going into a skid is also maintaining the ability to steer the car, I would think. So I guess they didn't design them to be exactly idiot proof, did they?

Mother Nature Dumps on Spring

The flowers were blooming, the grass was turning green, the earth smelled sweet, and the trees were starting to bud out (but the insects weren't really out yet). Against the backdrop of the sun shining and birds singing, last weekend my brother warned that winter was not through with us.

I just had to mock and defy the weather gods and scoff at his pediction. I brought this down on us.

Prospector Dance

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
Paul Rudd
comedycentral.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Economic Crisis Political Humor

We recently discovered that our son loves to do the Prospector Dance. This was immortalized by Paul Rudd on the embedded video from the Daily Show. Skip forward to the 2:35 mark to see the action.



Zach likes to do the prospector dance in his bouncy chair. I hear the old-timey accent and smell the mule (or maybe it's just time to change the diaper).

Circus Mouse

Check out this little acrobat. They say cats have nine lives, but this guy must have a few extra ones, too.

Yesterday, I saw all the cats in the courtyard looking up at the roof. Speedy was on top of a pillar and it looked like she was going to attempt an impossible jump to the roof. It would have been about 5' high and 6' over.

Then I saw what she was wanting to jump at something that was on the wall. There was a tiny mouse almost 8' up a brick wall. I guess fear can make you do some pretty impressive things, but I would not have expected that the mouse could actually climb that high.

This morning, I heard a cat playing around the front door, and I discovered that there was the mouse, clinging to the side of a partition, about 6' off the ground. After a brief chase, I captured the mouse and released it away from the cats. I'm hoping it makes its way back to Mouseville, because they need him back in the circus.

Junkyard Cleanup

We always enjoyed seeing the massive truck graveyard just south of Gardner off of I-35, ever since we were little.

It looks like it's being taken down for scrap. All the trucks are stipped and stacked and being hauled off.

I used to like to see how the southern end of it, where they started it, had all these really old dump trucks and busses and the newer models came later, marching off to the north. For a long time, it didn't look too junky and it wasn't too big, but I've noticed it has been growing big in the last several years. I wonder if it's going to go back to being just an empty field again? I wonder how many mice and racoons were living in the trucks?

Stay a Spell

The strange buffalo sculpture outside of the Wyatt Earp Inn did not make me want to stay at Beto Junction. I'm surprised they had vacancies.

Wintery Plain

The Flint Hills just north of Wichita still look plenty wintery.

Go a little further south

The Bradford Pears in Wichita are almost past their blossums. If you go a hundred miles south and out onto the plains, spring is a week or two ahead.

Bradford Pears

You probably could pack more blossums on these trees, I'm just not sure where you'd put them.

Zach & Cole

Cole told us that he wished he was Zach's older brother so he could teach him neat things like how to tie his shoe, how to tag street signs with graffiti, and how to put rocks in your snowballs before you throw them. OK, those last two were things I was going to teach Zach.

Spring Training

It's the first pitch of spring. Sometimes the baseball just gets into a boy's blood, doesn't it?

I like the missing teeth. I'm going to tell everyone that he got them knocked out in a fight with a mad dog that was attacking a little girl. That makes him tough and chivalrous. I didn't ask him how he really lost them. Sometimes you have to yank them out with a string. I remember I lost one in a butter sandwich at lunch at school. Talk about a gentle departure. I'm glad I didn't swallow it.

Turkey Bathhouse

I've got an old compost heap that is mostly used up. It turns into this nice fine dusty stuff eventually.

The turkeys have discovered it and love to take little dust baths in it. I was wondering what those funny little wallows were. I thought maybe they were some tiny form of alien crop circle.

The cats like to get dusted up, too. Andrea says they are putting on "pretty powder". She's so cute.

By any other name...

You have to love the flowers that come up early in the spring, when the ground is still strewn with leaves and everything else is still dead and colorless from the winter.

The simple yellow Daffodil is always a welcome sight to see this time of year. It comes after the crocus, but before tulips and just about everything else.

We've always called them Daffodils, but they are also know as Narcissus (which leads to the inevitable problem of how to pluralize it) and also Jonquils. Nobody I know calls them Jonquils, but it's a tranquil name. Wikipedia says it's not technically correct. It also says they are sometimes called buttercups. You can see why. That's one bright yellow.

Sneaky Turkey

This is that weird time of year where the turkeys behave a little different. This loner may be a hen hiding her nest. They have been clustered in large flocks up until now. I hope she's nesting. I want to see the little baby turkeys this year, but they are so secretive and shy right after they hatch.

Here come the Forsythias!

Andrea loves the Forsythias. They came back pretty early this year. We hope they don't get nailed by another snow or freeze.

Mockingbird

Andrea recently discovered Mockingbirds in Legacy Park, mostly because of how much it was singing.

Here is one we met in the parking lot of the library.

You gotta love the way they can make up any song they want to sing.

LSHS Grads and their Tigers

Here's another picture from Molly's incredible site: www.mollybphotos.com

This is Molly's pet Siberian White Tiger, Sasha. Sasha likes to have her belly rubbed and she likes playing with the neighbor's chihuahua. Molly makes her wear bright blue contacts, which she doesn't seem to mind. They recently bottle broke her, so Molly has to feed her a 22 oz. T-bone steak every day. She's trying to teach Sasha to hunt the neighborhood rabbits to keep her food bill down. Sasha is an adopted cat that Molly got on her last visit to Las Vegas, from Siegfield and Roy, who are only too happy to get rid of the extra cubs.

Run for your Lives!

Here's another photo from my friend Molly's site: www.mollybphotos.com

She said that ostriches like shiny things and this one was on its way to attack her camera.

She didn't say what the ostrich was saying while it was attacking, but I'm guessing it was "Moooolllllleeeee! Moooolllllleeeee!" with an Australian accent.

Molly's close encounter

My friend Molly has some excellent pictures at www.mollybphotos.com I asked her if I could borrow some for the blog, and this is one that she sent me.

She was only about 4 feet away from the owl when she took this picture. I think she may not have asked the wise little owl how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop.

Drunken Doggie

My friend Molly sent me this picture of her dog, Tonka.

Apparently, he likes to sneak a beer from time to time. This time, he pased out before he could hide his empties.

The Hornet's Nest

Paul found a hornet's nest down on the farm.

It smelled funny, so we decided to explore the inside of the nest.

Can you believe this is what it looks like inside? It's just like a paper wasp nest with each layer shaped like an old fashioned light fixture, but it's got several layers, then a porous bottom where they climb in, and a jacket around the outside to protect the whole mess from the elements. It's the skyscraper equivalent to wasp nest building.

Just think, there is probably no fossil record for something as delicate as a wasp's nest. I wonder how many ancient insects built strange and elaborate nests that we will never know about?

Take Me Home Tonight

Tiki Man wanted to go home with Zach. Unfortunately, we gave him the slip. Maybe next time

Tiki vs. Binky

Tiki Man saw the pacifier, and that was all she wrote. He's going down!

Visitors from Afar

Amy came from Athens Georgia and Molly came from Phoenix in order to attend Allen & Ashley's wedding. I don't think they got an award or trinket for their efforts.

During the Ordeal

Here's the picture of Shane right before the ordeal. Everyone turned to face the alter, and I noticed that we had what looked like a rebellion on our hands.

Shortly after this picture was snapped, Shane passed out.

But it wasn't a tree-falls-in-the-woods kind of faint, it was more of a I'm-not-going-down-without-a-fight kind of faint. He started to go down twice, waving off help both times, before he was finally dragged off the altar and laid out on the floor.

He doesn't remember a thing and the bride and groom didn't notice it going on. It's a Pi Day miracle.

Before the Ordeal

Here's Kelly, Mike, Shane, and Amber outside of Allen & Ashley's wedding. We're going to call this the before picture.

Going to the Chapel

Here's Zach going to his first wedding, Allen & Ashley's.

He's looking mighty dapper in his snazzy sweater. Good job, Mommy!

First Day of Day Care

Here's Zach when he arrived at the first day of Day Care. He was asleep, but roused a bit when the camera flashed. Then he went back to sleep, so you can see that it was totally traumatic for him.

Kitty Crossword

This is what Eddy thinks about my desire to do the crossword. I'm not sure whether she's blocking the crossword because it was where my cone of attention was focused, or whether she thinks she is helping with it.

Baby's First Geocache

We took Zach out for his first Geocache search.

I love the waterfall in Legacy Park, and wanted to place a cache there myself. Unfortunately, we played by the rules and asked permission. As far as we know, we are still waiting for Lee's Summit Parks & Recreation to put together a policy on Geocaches.

Still, it's a great place for a Geocache and it's always good to have an excuse to go hiking around the park on one of the first beautiful springlike day.

Testing out the Baby Björn

The nice weather prompted us to try out the Baby Björn carrier over in Legacy Park. My first time out, I found myself leaning forward so Zach's head wouldn't pound against my chest. I tucked a blanket in between me and Zach the next time I loaded him up, and it worked great (OK, it worked a little better).

As you can see, Zach loves going out for a walk.

I have to confirm that the Baby Björn is a Daddy Torture Device, just as Eric warned me.